I’ve never met Aziz Ansari and have no idea what kind of person he is. By his body of work, he’s funny, geeky, and weirdly handsome. He actually doesn’t seem like someone who’d be serious in a serious relationship.

I can’t imagine a romantic evening with him. He seems like he’d laugh during sex so I couldn’t see myself in that situation with him or someone like him. Especially after one evening.

In the height of the #MeToo movement, several women (and some men) have come forward to disclose their personal experiences with those accused of sexual assault/harassment. As someone who experienced and sued for my own sexual harassment, I do not take this issue lightly but I try to discern between what is strategic, opportunistic or legitimate abuse.

As more evidence has come out in the case of Ansari, it seems the anonymous photographer accusing him is seeking to ruin this man, collect a payday (though I haven’t seen reports of any monetary requests), and derail the movement because she had a bad date. A bad date that ended in an even worse sexual experience. Poor baby. We’ve all had those experiences.

Perhaps I can sue the guy that ordered his food the moment we sat down for dinner without giving me the chance to view the menu. Maybe I can sue the guy that had that annoying moan. Or, what about the one whose kisses were grossly wet and left my face moist. Surely he abused me because I often tried to turn my head or end the kiss before I looked like I spilled a glass of water on my face.

We’ve all been in bad dates, had sex with horrible partners, or been dumped by men we were supposed to dump first. As I’ve said before, being angry with someone shouldn’t ruin their lives. If we learn anything from the case of Ansari and several others, we should learn to be more responsible in our own roles. Wait, that last sentence could get twisted. Twist on. Let’s discuss.

Most recent CNN article regarding this “incident”