As Father’s Day approaches, it is important that we recognize all the men in our lives who have been remarkable fathers either to you or your children.
My son didn’t have a father but, please don’t wish me Happy Fathers Day. I am his mother who unfortunately had to fulfill multiple roles as a single parent.
Too often, mothers (women) use this day as a day to bash and demean the deadbeat in their life. This is not the time. Yes, we handled multiple duties, handling most (if not all) financial responsibilities. We handled all the emotional stress. We did all the pickups and drop offs at sporting events. We managed to work, come home, help with homework and have dinner for our children despite lack of financial or physical support from that other half. Guess what? We did it!
Not having a father in your child’s life does not mean they should go without any male role models or father figures. As someone who often reached out for help, I also realize that can be hard to find sometimes. Thankfully, my father played that role in my son’s life and I am forever grateful.
A mother whose ego is so big that she proclaims she doesn’t need a man to help guide her son is one that is selfish and quite frankly, still angry about the demise of her own personal relationships.
Boys need men, period. As a very athletic mother, anything my son wanted to play, I could play with him. I could teach him how to hit a baseball, catch a pass, shoot a free throw, or jump a hurdle. I often found myself struggling when it came to teaching life lessons that only a man could teach. My emotions and anger over my situation sometimes turned into rage and bouts of depression. Many times I knew my limits and understood when it was time to seek help. Other times, I just wish I had help.
For every deadbeat dad that refuses to take part in their child’s life, there are hundreds more who are amazing fathers (to ALL their kids). Many of us just chose the wrong man (boy). There are fathers who are teaching their children to ride bikes, combing their child’s hair, taking their daughters to dances and on dates. There are fathers who are working whatever legal job that is necessary to take care of their families. There are fathers who recognize and realize that the decisions they make, can directly or indirectly affect their children.
There are men that decided that being a sperm donor just wasn’t going to be enough. To those men, I salute you and I wish you an amazing Father’s Day.
To those women who insist on accepting this day as Single Mom’s Day, please don’t tag me in that nonsense. Every day is my day. While I’m sure my son will call me and celebrate me anyway, I want to save this day for all the amazing dads out there. There are plenty!