Aint nobody nominate you!

 

imageSeriously though, you just wanted to post a few selfies, didn’t you? You were at home like “I wanna post these pics. I need to fake nominate myself for this Pretty face challenge” You were like “These pics need to be seen, Ima act like Michelle and Dianna nominated me” “I need some likes.”

Do you sis, do you! But I see you posting all them pics every other day, seeking validation without anybody fake challenging you.

Who told you you were beautiful? When did you realize it? DO you realize you ARE beautiful without having to hear someone tell you through a Facebook challenge post?

Many times we lack a certain amount of confidence within ourselves and we feel the need to seek outside attention to seem worthy. This goes back to my previous blog, Impressing those who don’t matter. The only person that needs to know and understand how beautiful we are is ourselves.

As a child, I never knew that. I wasn’t born with the beautiful hair. I was the “dark one.” Today, I look back at childhood pics and I thought I was pretty. I don’t remember ever hearing it. I have memories of jumping out of the car to visit a family member. I would run with excitement and literally get pushed aside because I wasn’t the princess.

Disclaimer: For those who know me and my family, I do not speak of situations with just my sister. These were episodes with cousins, friends, distant relatives.

Anywho, I remember the dreaded back to school shopping. I would always get twins outfits along with others. I’d go to school and literally get laughed at because I didn’t look the same in my outfits. I remember my hideous eyeglasses in the 4th grade which brought on so much more teasing. I remember the Jheri curl that I requested but kept a lot longer than I wanted. More teasing. Teachers, constantly telling me I wasn’t like my sister year after year.

The only thing from my childhood I remember hearing was how bad I was….never that I was beautiful (or smart). Well, Mrs Martin did once pull me aside and tell me “you are NOT like your sister, or anyone else. That’s what makes you special.” Unfortunately, I only had her for one year. That next year, I literally spit on a teacher. (Remember, I was told more times how bad I was versus how beautiful, evil vs good).

I just wanted to be beautiful.

I am. So are you.

So while we shouldn’t need Facebook to validate our beauty, we can use it to express ourselves and show others how confident and proud we are of our beauty. No matter how others may see us, if we don’t see our own beauty and self worth, all those childhood bullies win. Those bullies who laughed at our clothes, our hair, our teeth, our shapes, our size……show them who we are and let them watch us in all our beauty. But, if WE don’t believe it ourselves, start there first because NOBODY else should matter…..and start with the children. Children become broken adults who seek Facebook validation…..

“Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful” peace!

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18 thoughts on “Aint nobody nominate you!

  1. It’s crazy because my dad was and still is big on looks. He was quick to tell me I couldn’t go with him looking like that. (Meaning hair messed up or no lotion etc). Now, if I gained weight he would say when are you going to lose that. Since I Am grown I do tell him to be quiet and don’t talk to me like that lol…
    but he’d always gave compliments when I did/do looked nice and always hugged me and say he loved me. Now I find myself doing the same to my daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so important to tell little girls positive things, including their beauty. Instead of bossy, a leader. Instead of bad, unchallenged. I swear I want a little girl just to tell her all the things I wanted to hear

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  2. Thank you for that!!! I tried to let my daughter know from early childhood know how BEAUTIFUL she is!!! I didnt get that growing up..I wanted her to have the confidence that I didnt have so that she didnt need anyone to validate her!!!

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    1. That’s exactly how I would be if I had a daughter. We needed to know it ourselves so when bullies attempted to tease, we would know our worth enough that their words didn’t matter. You and your daughter are beautiful and as long as you know it, that’s all that matters!

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  3. I LOVE this post! Growing up as a “red head”, I never felt “pretty” or as “cool” as my blond and brunette friends. When I was in college and broke up with my psycho, emotionally abusive boyfriend, I realized MY beauty! I embraced it and still do today! I may be pale and have freckles all over my body, but I LOVE it (and these two traits along with my red hair made me so insecure when I was a teenager)! And my mama loved you! I remember you posting something similiar about Mrs. Martin. I mentioned it to her and she said she remembered that day when she told you that! She also said she loved your sister, too, but people compared you two. The same happened to me and my sister. My sister had a high school teacher at LP and told her you will never be like your sister. Heather told me this recently and I FUMED!!! Anyways, I love this post!!! Be yourself, be beautiful in your own skin, don’t try to be someone you are not, and don’t try to make others “like” you!! Loves and hugs!!!

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    1. Oh my, I can’t believe your mom would remember. It’s amazing what an impact that one moment had on me. I just wish there were more like her, then it wouldn’t have taken so long for me to figure it out. Being “different” as your red hair and freckles were/are should not have meant it was negative. Unfortunately, where we grew up, we weren’t exposed to many differences. We didn’t see and weren’t taught that others were beautifully unique. College is where I discovered my own beauty, though adulthood and dealing with ignorant others hasn’t always made it easy. As I said, as long as WE know our own beauty, that’s all that should matter. YOU, my dear, are beautiful and have always been!

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  4. Thank you, girl!! I appreciate your compliments!! You will prevail from all of this!!! We ARE beautiful women and we will rise above the rest!! There is NO time for BS!!! Peace, Love,and Happiness forever!!!

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